well dweller

I looked Mr. Fantastic in the eye and said what I knew was crazy.


“I feel sad. I want you to make me happy.”


Just saying it out loud sounded ludicrous, but owning my dysfunctional desire was freeing.


“So, you don’t know what will make you happy, and you want me to figure it out, then provide it for you,” he said with a smirk.


I smiled back and laughed.


“Right. I can give you a list of things that might make me happy. You can start there,” I suggested. As I categorized the list mentally I added, “But in all honesty, there is nothing you can do that would really answer my need.”


I am like the woman at the well; thirsty for more than what a man can offer.


Marriage is the place selfishness goes to die. If we protect our selfishness, hold on to it, seek our own needs first, then it’s the marriage that dies.


There are a lot of women out there who wonder when their husbands are going to finally get it right.


There are a lot of men who wonder when their wives will just be okay and relax already.


Slowly, over time, if you stand at the well of your marriage and grow resentful about the water your spouse can’t or won’t give you, you will grow crooked in your soul.


Living water doesn’t come cheaply. It costs you your whole heart. You can pay it in full right now or in bits and pieces as life goes.


To be perfectly frank and honest, I don’t really want my husband to make me happy. I want him to walk beside me as we seek God. Waiting around for him to make me happy will keep me from ever enjoying that. Resenting him, nagging him, or pushing him away will never bring me what I want.


Why do brides and grooms make all those promises to give love, and then wives and husbands make demands to receive love? What do we forget as the years go by? The love seems to dry up so easily.


There is only one place I know that the flow of love never ceases. The cross pours out love and mercy and forgiveness. Leave Jesus out of your marriage, and love trickles away. Make Jesus the center of your marriage, His sacrificial love the standard for your own heart, and love will deepen as the years pass.


Too many of us give up on marriage too soon. We think that when marriage becomes sour, we have lost what we really want. But maybe we were wanting the wrong thing.  Maybe we need something only God can provide.  Jesus is our great Redeemer. He turns water into wine, brings dead things to life, and gives beauty for ashes.


A dry well isn’t the end of love. It’s the place God meets us to do a miracle.