When life gets busy, work overloads our attention, children suck our energy, or a marriage just gets in a boring rut of the same ol’ same ol’, there is one sure fire way to get a little spark back in your life:
Go hunt your husband.
Known to be loving, attentive, and engaging in most seasons, a husband’s attention occasionally become hard to capture.
If you find that is the case for you, here is a fool-proof method to hunt your husband. The key is to shock him out of the monotony and stress that have pulled him away and get him back in your loving arms.
So, clear your schedule some random evening, send the kids to grandma’s or a friends’ house for the night, get your plan organized, and ambush that man of yours with romance.
Happy hunting, ladies!
1. Take a shower. I know, I know. It seems so obvious. But for wives with young children, who haven’t stepped outside since the Girl Scouts last came around hocking Thin Mints, the need for a shower can be easily forgotten, put off, or just ignored. In order to catch a husband, this is an essential step. Cleanliness will make you feel more like a human being, and greasy hair that smells slightly of spit up is just not attractive. While you’re in there, shave your legs, too, ladies. Trust me.
2. Choose your outfit carefully. Despite their siren song of comfort beckoning to you, you must avoid sweats, yoga pants, and leggings. In the wild, these types of clothing have been known to act as a sort of camouflage, hiding you from the interest of a man. Husbands seem a bit more oblivious to women who look like they just rolled out of bed. It’s a strange-but-true phenomenon that they notice carefully chosen outfits, and then forget what you are wearing almost immediately.
3. Makeup and perfume. While not always essential, if the man you are trying to catch has expressed increased interest in you when you wear these items in the past, then take the time to put them on. Remember: we are trying to shock them a bit, so go big or go home, girls.
4. Turn on romantic music. This can help set the mood. Also, it can stop your man from turning on the tv or going straight to the computer when he walks in the door.
5. Send a leading text. Think of the most romantic and slightly suggestive string of words possible, and type away. Definitely include any information about babysitters and the absence of children, so he knows you mean business. Hopefully, he will get the text in the middle of a meeting, where the shock factor will have its best effect.
6. Be ready. Make sure you get home before he does. Smile and meet him at the door. If the text you sent did the trick, he will probably be home early, and will have forgotten any and all work-related stress, emails, or projects. Like a deer caught in the crosswires, he is all yours.
7. Compliment him. Tell that man that you love him, that he is amazing, that you are glad he is home, that you thought about him all day in somewhat inappropriate ways, and that he is unbelievably hot. While you’re at it, thank him for marrying you, working his tail off, and being an all around great husband and father.
8. Hide his phone. At this point, your appearance and attitude will have him lulled into a state of bliss, and he probably has forgotten that iPhones exist. However, just in case, stash it in the clean laundry pile. (He has definitely forgotten that laundry exists.)
8. Offer him some sort of food. This is for two reasons: the first is that he is probably really hungry; the second is that it will increase the suspense and he will love that. Have his favorite takeout waiting, cook a romantic meal, or heat up leftovers. He would probably eat sawdust by now if you have successfully achieved steps 1-7, but good food will make the evening seem even more special.
9. Reminisce. Tell him the story of how he won your heart. Talk about the romantic trip you took last year. Talk about how you missed him when he went away for a work trip. Whatever you do, don’t talk about finances, kids, work, or household chores that need to get done. Keep the conversation light, meaningful, and romantic.
10. Land the plane. By this point, your husband has one thing alone in his mind: you. You are victorious. He is yours. Enjoy the fruit if your effort. Most importantly, have fun!!!
