I know, O Lord, that your laws are righteous,
and in faithfulness you have afflicted me.
May your unfailing love be my comfort,
according to your promise to your servant.
-Psalm 119:75-76
My heart has found a way to change and grow the last few years.
There was a time I felt abandoned by God when life became too difficult.
I cried out in my distresses, reminding God that I needed Him, that He was my hope and my salvation.
Begging Him to return to me, answer me, save me, I looked to the hills for my help to come from Him.
And all along, I considered my afflictions to be despised, unwanted, and wholly unnecessary.
I never really considered that God might be displaying His faithfulness to me in the midst of my despairs. Maybe I just never wanted to.
Because, what kind of God afflicts those He loves?
How does a loving God look down on His children and wait as they squirm beneath weight they carry with difficulty?
The only answer I can muster is, “I don’t fully know. It’s a mystery.”
My heart has come to cherish this mystery, though.
Each rising sun brings a chance to know God deeper, and I long for that more than an end to my troubles.
When I feel overwhelmed and my only hope can be found in an omnipotent God, I know that I am blessed.
There is no cliff so remote that He can’t fly to my rescue.
No darkness is so bleak that He won’t one day dispel it with His light.
There is no sickness He can’t heal, no lonely path He refuses to walk with me, and no pain I cannot sustain for He is ever with me.
With a God like that, what have I to fear?
My life has not gotten easier and my prayers have not all been answered.
But my God is so much bigger than this life and its troubles, His love so comforting, and His presence so precious, that it doesn’t matter so much any longer.
As I wait for Him, I rest in Him, and the joy at His faithfulness can’t help but grow.
Amen sister! 🙂