“To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen.” -Revelation 1:5-6
“You’re a pastor’s wife?” exclaimed the woman I had just casually met in a public restroom. “I have ALWAYS wanted to know a pastor’s wife. What’s it like to be one?”
I had no proper response. Only sarcastic, improper replies surfaced in my brain, but I self-edited and told her,
“It’s great. Challenging, but great.”
I know, such a plain old vanilla copout type of answer. But how do I tell this kind, unassuming woman that the very fact that she has categorized me into a group of women she “has always wanted to know”, is the very reason being married to a pastor is one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever not been hired to do?
Pastor’s wives aren’t “hired” for their skills, their abilities, or even their dreams or life plans.
We marry a man we love, a man we feel called to walk with all our lives, and then find out lots of other people assume we can help them, too.
Maybe we can. Maybe we can’t. It can be difficult to know for sure.
Because most days I’m just like every other woman who loves Jesus. I do my best to honor God with my words, my heart’s intentions, and my actions.
I’m in the messy part of marriage, motherhood, and life management- just like you.
I don’t get a special lifeline to God that looks any different than yours. Jesus is the only way any of us can stand up and say we have overcome sin, sorrow, and sadness.
Just like you, people need me to breathe words of life over them in prayer.
Just like you, my friends and family need me to love them sacrificially.
Just like you, I am at my best when I have been in God’s word and God’s presence.
I have the same hope you have: Christ and His resurrection make my life more than I can ever on my own.
So, if you really want to know what it’s like to be a pastor’s wife, maybe you will be surprised to find out that you can look in the mirror and find out the truth:
You’re a sort of pastor’s wife, too.
After all, aren’t we the bride of Christ? Haven’t we all married Jesus in a spiritual way, and don’t we share the daunting job of caring for the family of God?
I may have been dragged to the front line by my husband’s career. But we have all been called to be priests in our homes and in this world.
Ministry is less vocational than we often think. We all know there are clergy out there doing a less-than adequate job. A title doesn’t always equate to a calling.
For me, being a pastor’s wife boils down to simply being a Christian, loving Jesus first and most, and hoping that my faithfulness to loving others helps them them find and know God better.
Being a pastor’s wife means being devoted to my husband and children.
It means teaching my children patiently and diligently.
It means plunging toilets at the women’s retreat.
It means answering emails, counseling friends, and trusting that at the end of this crazy life we all wear the same label.
What, you too?
Welcome to the life of being a pastor’s wife. You’re going to change the world.
