walking on water

A few months ago, I wrote a children’s book.  I am working on a non-fiction book based on this blog.  I have begun contacting literary agents in intimidating places like New York.

I am suddenly a generally unambitious person doing insanely ambitious things.

This is water I am walking on.

Tuesday night I checked my email before laying my head on my pillow.  At the top of my inbox was a curtly stated rejection from an agent to represent my children’s book.

I knew rejections would come.  I amused myself with the thought of great writers who only became famous and widely published after their deaths.  Mr. Fantastic regaled me with tales of books that were repeatedly rejected and are now classics.  In my soul I heard the popping of balloons filled with hope that God would (for once) make the path I took an easy one.

“But you wouldn’t be here if God made things easy on you,” my wonderful husband reminded me.  “Your writing is built on the difficulty of not getting what you want.”

Truth can be both comforting and terrifying.

My hope is no longer poppable.  The books that I may or may not publish are God’s, not mine.  It is certainly His business to take care of His books.  My hope is in Him.

This water under my feet feels like solid rock.  I will not doubt that God is calling me to take this path.  Too many times, and in so many ways, He has confirmed that this is the one He has for me.  Succeed or fail, I will walk on, grateful for the opportunity to walk with Him.

Now that I think about it, maybe the most ambitious task any human has ever taken on is to follow Christ.  Publishing a book or two should be a breeze.