Since You are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of Your name lead me and guide me. Free me from the trap that is set for me, for You are my refuge. Into Your hand I commit my spirit; redeem me, O Lord, the God of truth. -Psalm 31:3-5
Me: “I’m really glad I don’t have to work. Thank you for taking such good care of me.”
Him: “You’re welcome. You’re worth it.”
Later I thought back on our kind words and kind of laughed. I thanked my recovering workaholic husband for being a hard worker.
That would be like him thanking me for only liking really nice things, or thanking our three-year-old for drawing strong boundaries about sharing toys: kind of confusing to the “complimentee”.
When you work in ministry the work/rest balance is difficult. After all, the Bible makes it pretty clear that we should serve God first, love Him most, and seek His kingdom above anything else.
When is a minister supposed to say “No” to the almost constant demands his profession makes of him? Do you tell the homeless man in need of some basic human care, who shows up as you are locking up the church, to just go away? Do you tell the woman whose husband just walked out today that you will call her back tomorrow when you have a free moment? Do you tell the group of pastors praying for the city that you can’t make it because your day started at 6:00 am and it is 8:00 pm and you need to go home?
Where is a wife, who loves God and loves His church supposed draw the line and insist on more family time, a date night, and a day without church- related phone calls, emails, or texts? Particularly when her husband plays the “I work for Jesus” card, it is easy to feel selfish when you put yourself above the church.
For a long time, we had no idea how to do this well. We loved Jesus, loved laying it all out for HIm, and put ourselves, our family, and our marriage on the back burner so that the church we serve would survive.
After all, Mr. Fantastic was working for Jesus. As in WWJD. Who says no to Jesus? We apparently thought JWDE: Jesus Would Do Everything, therefore so should we.
The ironic thing is, by thinking we have to do everything, we are saying God can do nothing without us.
I know now that if my service to the Bride of Christ causes death in the lives of the people around me, I may have turned the church into something it is not meant to be.
The fact that we have come to this table of Tex Mex full of gratitude for my hard-working husband is proof to my soul that things have changed. God is graciously helping us learn to rest, pace ourselves, and wisely walk in His will.
We now look at the pull of ministry with a creative eye, think of others who may want to help, ask people in need to be patient or accept a phone meeting instead of a lunch date, and we pray for God’s grace for all of us.
We still regularly barrel through some insane days when storms hit the lives of those we love. At least once a month we calculate and dissect the health of our own family, the needs that we are not meeting in all areas of our life, and pray for wisdom.
Living well isn’t a war that we win, it is a battle we continue to fight.
There is a great need in the world for Jesus. As His ambassadors, we are called to carry His love and truth, but it’s not up to me or to you to save the world. Jesus is on the job and able to multiply the faithful labor of His disciples in amazing ways.
The trap is always set, but His hand is always mighty to save those who look to Him. Thank God for that.
I'm learning how to get better with boundaries because of Boundaries the book by Henry Cloud that I'm reading with my Restore Ministries Group. (Think group therapy among Christians!) I'm defining who I am, and who I am not and all that other good, painful stuff that comes with clarity.
I think God loves that we respond to Him by helping others, but I think He likes it more when we're helping others run to Him so we don't have to be all things to them. Ultimately, I think He loves it the most when we reach the end of our rope and acknowledge that He's in charge and that we can't do it all.
Aaaah, indeed, always the grace and wisdom to know the difference…
Yes, yes. Grace and wisdom is the key for sure!