everyday mess

Our yard is full of mature Live Oak trees. Live Oaks don’t just drop their leaves in the fall. Their leaves fall twice in the year, during spring and fall. This year, with the mild winter and the early spring, the poor confused leaves have just constantly fallen. Every time we get wind or rain the yard fills with leaves. The leaves must be raked and bagged or they will kill the grass. The front yard usually takes about twenty of those giant paper yard bags to finish. The backyard takes about the same.

If I didn’t love these trees, I would have a hard time not chopping them all down. But, these trees are very valuable to our family. My children love to climb them and they shade our picnics. Birds of all types come to dance in our yard because of the trees. On breezy nights, when I stand outside and close my eyes, the wind in the leaves sounds a like the ocean I miss so dearly.

The trees are my friends, and my friends are messy with leaves. One gust of wind and the freshly raked grass will be once more be covered in new leaves. I will never be finished raking and bagging leaves as long as we live here.

While raking yesterday I realized that my whole life is like these leaves. All day I gather problems and messes and bag them up, figuratively speaking. The reality is that as long as I live my job will never be done.

Life is just messy.

Kids fight with each other, dinner needs planning, doctor appointments need scheduling, paperwork has to be filled out, friends need help moving, family needs love and care, the house has termites, the church has meetings, the government has elections, the spring storms are coming with hail, and lots of leaves are falling everywhere in my yard and everywhere else.

I pick up a crying child, hug her, and send her off to play.

I return a quick email, make a long phone call, and schedule that appointment online before chopping an onion for dinner.

I say a prayer for a little boy, cry a little for a friend who aches, and try to organize the garage so the car can fit in it when the hail falls.

And on, and on, and on it goes. Life marches along, I trail behind with my rake and my bags, keeping up but never getting ahead. I have decided that’s just the way I need it to be.

If I fret about what is falling faster than I can rake I will forget to close my eyes and hear the sound of the ocean in the leaves. If I run and race from pile to pile I will miss the joy in the child climbing high and waving to me from the branches above. If I pay someone else to do the labor for me I will miss the chance to know how my labor can make me a better woman.

So if you happen to drive by and see me out there raking up leaves, or dealing with the problems of a life full of messiness, please stop and say hello. I have lots to do, but plenty of time to enjoy my friends.

Oh, and if you’d like to grab a rake, that would be just lovely.