“Mama, I have a wrinkle on my arm,” my little Lady said as we walked into Target.
It seemed she was looking at her little elbow for the first time ever.
“Yes, skin is like that. It gets wrinkles,” I answer, amused at this truth that my own face has begun to flaunt. “And as you get older, it gets more wrinkled. Do you know what the wrinkles mean?”
“No.”
“The more wrinkles you have, the longer God has loved you,” I joyfully tell her.
The crow’s feet and laugh lines that are being pressed into my pale flesh feel like badges of glory as I tell her this. I have friends that don’t appreciate theirs, and at first sight, I didn’t welcome mine either.
Now, though, I choose to cherish the signs of age.
In part, I choose this because fighting the signs of age seems like an exercise in futility. But mostly, I look at this beautiful daughter of mine and I want to lead her away from the vanity that consumes our culture, and into a knowledge of true beauty.
I tell her that we are beautiful because God makes us beautiful. Looking at her perfect skin and big, blue eyes, it is easy to see the His handiwork on display. But when I gaze in the mirror at night at the dark circles under my puffy eyes and the loosening skin under my jaw, I have to preach it to myself a little.
I remind myself of the way my husband thanked me for the kindness I showed today; the hugs of the kindergarten class at the children’s school after I read them a funny book; the friends who have drawn us close when we have struggled to fight on; the church that loves us as we don’t deserve; and the God who adopted us and made us heirs of His many promises.
If I can’t believe that I am beautiful to God and to all these people, how will my daughter ever appreciate her own loveliness?
Beauty is not flawless skin, perfect hair, or a gleaming smile. It is not in any jar or make-up tutorial, and it can’t be bought in a store.
Beauty is learning the art of being loved for who we are to God, allowing grace to trump our flaws, and mercy to cover our weakness.
My daughter is beautiful because she is God’s child. I knew that from the moment I first saw her. That lesson has taken me longer to embrace about myself.
But when I smile at every new line forming around my mouth, and glow with love as all that collagen evaporates out of my pores, my joy proves how deeply I am learning to be beautiful.
I have been loved a long, long time. I can read God’s love letters in the lines on my face and each word makes my heart delight in growing older.
Bring on the years.
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| Me and my true beauty |
