Boy 1 was reading a book about the Negro Baseball League.
“Mom, what’s ‘the n-word’?” he asked me, his voice shaking a little nervously.
You never know when these moments are coming.
I could see in his eyes a longing to understand. I took a deep breath and began to explain the ugliness of hatred, greed, and racism.
How do you explain the worst part of humanity?
As I spoke, I thought back on the many moments that had led us to this point. I thought of the books we have read, the history we have studied, the prayers we have prayed, all with the hope of raising children who will not be ignorant about the human heart’s propensity for pride and exclusiveness.
As I answered him I thanked God for leading us into a multi-cultural, multi-racial church, for living in a diverse city, for giving my son friends who do not all have the same color skin or cultural history that our family has. It would be difficult to teach our children that a person’s race does not determine their value if they didn’t know and value anyone that is unlike them.
I am white, married to a white man, and have only white children, so I have really never been the object of racist sentiments. But because I live the real world, I have witnessed how prejudice and hatred can scar lives.
When I was eleven, I first heard racial slurs used by someone. I recall the shock I felt that a person could cruelly label a whole people group like that. Children often understand fairness better than adults. That blatant unfairness shocked me then and still does now.
When my best friend, who is white and is married to a black man, took her baby to Target and endured the sting of cruel opinions from both white and black women, I wanted to line those women up and explain that love is not confined by race. We ought to be grateful for that, otherwise a Jewish man may not have been willing to die for all of us.
Boy 1 seemed to understand my words as much as an eight year-old can. We walked down this trail of truth and grace together, and I thought of conversations we would save for another day.
I thought of the ninety year-old man who told me one day in the gym that he had competed in the Olympics in his youth. Lamenting the presence and success of non-white athletes in modern athletics, he showed the scars of a man raised in an era of “us” and “them”, and didn’t seem to understand that I didn’t feel the same way.
I have witnessed fear in the eyes and words of many white people when faced with the predictions that we soon we will no longer be the “majority”, and that the power to oppress us may be in the hands of a new group of people. They fear the sins of our fathers and grandfathers resting on our own lives.
All people have the same value, because all people have been created by God, in His image, and the purchase price of our lives was paid on the cross. My life did not cost God more or less because of my sex, race, or financial status.
If I consider myself more or less valuable than someone else, then I am slighting God’s generous sacrifice.
Truly, only the gospel can bring hope for my son. He will face unfairness many times in his life, perhaps in spite of his race, or maybe because of it. I can’t predict the changing tides of our culture, or fully prepare him for all the unpredictable situations and people he will encounter in his future.
I can teach him that it is only in Christ that he will be free and that by loving and valuing others more than he loves and values himself he can honor and fear the God who loves him more than he deserves.
All of this, because of a book about baseball. I love books.
Here is a list of some books that we have enjoyed reading that help create awareness of other races and cultures:
- All of A Kind Family by Sydney Taylor– A great chapter book about a Jewish family in turn-of-the-century New York. We all learned a lot about Jewish holidays and culture from this one.
- Gathering the Sun by Alma Flor Ada– This is a book of poetry in Spanish and English gives a good peek into the life of itinerant farm workers from Mexico.
- Moses by Carole Boston Weatherford– This is the story of Harriet Tubman, told through a very poetic prayer. The illustrations are beautiful.
- Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry by Mildred D. Taylor– I loved this book about a black family in Mississippi during the Depression as a girl, and we are reading it in our home now. It is a classic for a reason.
- Grandfather’s Journey by Allen Say– A great true story of a Japanese man who immigrated to America and then returned to Japan.
- Across the Alley by Richard Michelson– A story of friendship that crosses racial boundaries. This book made me cry when I read it.
- Stars in the Shadows by Charles Smith Jr.- This is the book that Jude read and prompted our discussion about racism. I haven’t read it yet myself, but it obviously made an impression on him.
