Being in the ministry was not really part of my plan. The plan was to be a designer/artist/decorator/shop owner. I was working a dream job with a production designer in Hollywood when I fell in love with my best friend who happened to be a campus minister.
He married me despite the lack of Jesus-work on my resumé. I walked away from my plans forever, and straight into God’s plan for me.
I don’t think I realized how much I was marrying him and the ministry when I said “I do.”
Church is a funny place to work. Through the years we have heard great messages by people who have had trouble living them. We were led by people who treated us unfairly. We were sometimes blamed for saying too much when our advice was asked, and other times we wondered if we shouldn’t have said much more after someone told us they didn’t want our opinion.
People are often a mess, church is full of people, so church is more often messy than not.
One of the most difficult things to see when ministers fail is how a lot of people give up on God and the Church when they see the display of weakness and poor character. I have always felt it reflects poorly on the spiritual state of humanity, in general. Pastors are people, and therefore as capable of error as any of the rest of us.
Certainly there should be a higher standard for those who lead in the Church. There is no excuse that exempts them from consequences for unholy behavior and inappropriate sin. Personally, I tremble at the thought of the cost of leading any of God’s children astray, and I pray for grace in our lives to lead honorably and with pure hearts before God.
No one who has fallen from a place of influence began with corruption as their goal. I have yet to meet a young minister who didn’t enter ministry for any reason other than the lofty goal of honoring God and advancing His Kingdom. Love for Jesus prompts broken hearts to follow Him. But sometimes broken hearts make poor choices, and foolish people step into sin.
It is a pitiful thing to behold when lofty dreams crash and burn like that. It is even more pitiful when other hearts are damaged and then God or His Church are blamed and abandoned.
My hope and prayer is that people who have been wounded in churches would return. As Christians we all make up the Church, which is Christ’s bride. Together we are meant to accomplish His will on the earth. Seats emptied because of wounded hearts cry out for homecoming, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. As part of the bride of Christ we are all, in a way, married to the ministry. To walk away from the Church is to leave what Jesus loves dearly.
Church is not just Sunday gatherings, it’s not just about finding friends with a common faith, it’s not even about just loving God. The Church has a high calling to be married to Jesus, committed to love, honor, and serve. We are meant to be His hands and feet. There is a world in desperate need of the gospel and we are to steward its message.
If pastors or ministers did you wrong, allow me to apologize for them. They should have known better and done better. Please forgive them. It is possible they did not know how to do it any differently. Unfortunately, you may have gotten the best they were capable of giving. That is a sad thought, isn’t it? Perhaps a thought that makes them worthy of pity instead of resentment.
Return to God’s Church and let Him heal you. Find a place where your pain can turn into God’s glory. Come back, humbled by the thought that the same cursed flaw of humanity that led them open to crookedness is in you, too. Fall at the cross, knowing it is our only hope, our greatest comfort, and the power of God to overcome our depravity.
It is humility, hope, and adoration that makes a bride most beautiful on her wedding day. May the Church be filled with Christians who hold those ideals in high esteem. And together, may we see His Kingdom come.
